Foster Care Stories
Anna’s Story
Find out what it’s like to foster alongside your own children from one of our newest foster carers.
Anna, along with her husband are two of Team Fostering’s newest foster carers, welcoming their first young person earlier this year. After their eldest child had left home for University, but still with a six-year-old at home, it was important to Anna that fostering was the right thing for the entire family. She explains how they prepared their children for the journey and how it’s going so far.
Having the initial conversation
Anna said: “When we first started thinking about it we sat them both down for a chat. Our daughter – who’s now at University – was like absolutely, I’m not here a lot anyway, it’s not really up to me. But we were like, of course it is, this is still your family home and you’re coming and going, it always has to be a place for you.
“For our youngest – we approached it with him and we talked about it. Originally he was like yes, I want to do it and then when it got a bit further down the process, no I don’t want to do it.
“So as much as you have to listen and we did, we didn’t really bring it back up again until he was directly involved with it. We got a book called Room in the Nest and read that to him.”
Introducing the foster child
Despite initial nervousness, an emotional first evening and some adjusting, when they had their first young person arrive the family pulled together to make it a positive experience.
Anna explains: “Actually our son has been great. As a 6-year-old a lot of it goes over his head and he’s just happy he’s got someone to kick a football with.
“When the young person came with his social worker it was a little overwhelming and there were a few tears from our son but he was absolutely fine the following day. I think he has probably helped the young person settle a little bit as well because when there are other children in the house it’s less daunting for the young person coming in.
“Our daughter’s probably found it the hardest. When she came into the house and you’re used to everything being how it’s been for 19 years I think she found that a bit challenging. But she’s been great and she loves the fact we’re doing it.
“We’ve just tried to not change anything. Apart from having to be in a lot more places than we did before nothing else has changed and it shouldn’t have to. We’re probably out doing more than before which is great for our son too.”
The support from Team Fostering
For Anna, the consideration of their children in the matching process as well as the links she’s been able to make with other foster carers in the same boat has been a real positive of being with Team Fostering.
She said: “Our Supervising Social Worker has been great. And rightly so, the placement has to be a lot more considered when you have birth children in the house.
“Team Fostering have been great with putting me in contact with other people who have got birth children so I could chat with them.
“I’ve met people on training who I’ve had good conversations with. Another lady who’s got her own birth children a similar age to our son, she gave me her number.
“It’s been great in that respect.”
The benefits for the birth children
Although there were initial worries and challenges along the way, Anna explains what the benefits have been for the family.
She said: “I thought initially am I doing the right thing? It’s one of those things. As much as anyone tells you their experiences, until you’re in it and doing it yourself you won’t 100% know if it’s right for you and your family or not.
“But I can say for us it’s been positive. It is hard but I just thought throughout the process they had more to gain from it than to lose.
“They’ve learnt compassion and the understanding and awareness that not everyone is as fortunate as yourselves. We live in a lovely quiet village in a lovely house but that isn’t the reality for probably a huge proportion of people.”
If you’d like a chat with us about how fostering could work for your family, get in touch via our online enquiry form or phone us on 0800 292 2003.