Foster Care Stories
Elaine’s story
“It’s the best feeling ever to see him smile and see him enjoy his life and not be scared.”
Elaine and husband Jonathan from Newton Aycliffe had been thinking about fostering for years, but with two small children and full time jobs the time was never quite right. Fast forward a number of years and after seeing their friends take the jump, the idea was reignited.
As for many people, making the decision to foster was a big one. So Elaine and Jonathan started off by offering short break care alongside their existing jobs. This meant they would have children to stay with them for a short period of time – such as a weekend – to give other foster carers a break.
Elaine explains: “We did short break care for just over a year and we loved it. We got so much support and we had an absolutely brilliant supervising social worker. But soon it wasn’t enough.”
Becoming full-time foster carers
After COVID made them realise they wanted to do it full time, Elaine handed in her notice at work and not long after they welcomed a little boy – R – to their home.
Elaine says: “He was four-years-old. It wasn’t in our plan to have a younger one. But I come from an early years background and so I thought while we’re still young enough, we’ll do it this way.
“He changed our lives completely. He’s been with us coming up four years now and he’s just an amazing little boy.”
Elaine and Jonathan continue to offer short break care alongside the other child.
Elaine explains: “One of the young people has been coming to us for the past five years and virtually every six weeks she comes for a couple of nights. We’ve seen her develop as well and her and R have got an amazing relationship together.”
A positive impact on the whole family
Elaine also explains the positive impact fostering has had on their wider family. Their two daughters Lucy and Emily were 19 and 21 when they began their fostering journey.
She says: “It’s been fantastic for our girls who’ve never had to want for anything to actually see what fostering is and how we can help these young people.
“Lucy was still at home in the beginning because she was doing her hairdressing training. So her and R have got a really lovely brother sister relationship.
“Emily is a teacher. Being part of a fostering family has massively impacted on her teaching ability. She’s so empathetic to children’s needs. I think that’s made her a really, really good teacher.”
Being supported through the challenges
After Lucy moved out and Jonathan was made redundant, the couple had another spare room and they had space to care for more children. Fostering isn’t always plain sailing however and there were some challenges for the couple to work through.
Elaine says: “I think as we’ve gone on with our fostering life we’ve got a lot more confident. We’re more able to challenge things with always having the children’s best interests in the front of our minds.
“It’s like a roller coaster. You never know what’s going to happen one day to the next.”
For Elaine and Jonathan, the support from Team Fostering has been invaluable, especially when things have been more difficult.
Elaine says “We were very lucky to have an amazing supervising social worker. She was our sounding board. She was our voice of reason.
“We couldn’t have got through the ups and downs that we’ve had without having that close relationship with her.”
Elaine also has high praise for Team Fostering’s Family Finding Team, who match children to foster carers.
She says: “The Family Finding Team is amazing. They know us really well. They know what our expectations are. They know what our housing setup is. They know what sort of children we’re looking for and they know R as well.”
Creating a brighter future for a child
Elaine reflects on the outcomes for both themselves and for R.
She says: “R has got a lot of trauma in his past. It’s taken a long time but we’ve worked really hard on getting him to just feel safe.
“Now he’s doing really well at school. He’s thriving. And he’s got a future as well. He talks about going to university, he talks about going into the army. He’s changed massively.
“It’s amazing. It’s the best feeling ever to see him smile and see him enjoy his life and not be scared.
“He’s got the confidence now to be able to go and try things he would never have tried before. I think he’s got a really, really bright future.”
If you’d like to talk about the best way to start your journey into fostering, get in touch by filling in our enquiry form below.